The Avengers High School Initiative
by marvelic
Summary: The strongest friendships are forged in high school they say, and strong bonds are just what the team needs. What better way to do so than to start a school specially meant for them?


Phil Coulson was a man who plans, and a man with ideas.

He was also the man Nick Fury assigned to help The Avengers- to put it mildly- "bond" and "get along."

Somehow, following the weeks after Loki's stunt Phil had managed to become not just Clint and Natasha's, but the handler of the entire Avengers team.

Which was just a fancy way of saying babysitter. Because, that is _exactly _what the Avengers were, he thought as Tony threw a sausage at Clint and Steve yelled at him for wasting food.

_Well then, _Phil thought. _If they're going to act like kids, they'll jolly well be treated as such. _

Which led to the most massive, intense and the best plan ever- The Avengers' High School Initiative.

The plan wasn't really a spur-of-a-moment thing; it had taken weeks of plotting and planning before he typed out a 34-page proposal, Arial size 11, double spaced to hand to Fury. (Strictly speaking the proposal part wasn't the slightest but necessary but he wanted to see his boss' reaction so why not?)

Phil had spent hours reading the files and reports of the Avengers, and if there was one thing they had in common it was the lack of proper schooling. Not to say that were dumb or illiterate- after all, anyone with half a brain would know that they were anything but.

Rather, they were missing out on invaluable experiences. Dumb assignments, cafeteria craziness, passing notes in class, boring lessons; as much of a drag they were they helped students _bond. _

Steve couldn't afford proper schooling.

Clint and Bruce's parents never bothered.

Tony's parents couldn't care less, and he had learnt everything by himself.

Natasha didn't have the chance.

Thor- Phil wasn't too sure about him, but if he wanted to get along with his human teammates then he had to attend human school as well.

Besides, treating them like high-schoolers wouldn't be the slightest bit degrading. They acted like grade-school students most of the time.

Except maybe Natasha, but even she had her moments.

Also, weren't the best friendships forged in high school? The team might have had the best possible chemistry going on in the battle field, but when it came to their personal lives…not so much. And that tension was slowly making its way to affect their missions as well, which, by Fury's words, _absolutely cannot happen. _

It was a brilliant plan indeed.

Phil observed Fury as he leafed through the proposal.

"You know agent, when I said bonding I was thinking more along the lines of-"

"I already tried having a team meal, they had a food fight. Movie night resulted in twenty-thousand dollars' worth of damages."

Fury decided that is was not worth arguing about. After all, Agent Coulson was the one who excelled in the studies of human interaction, not him.

"I do hope you know what you are doing, Agent."

"Trust me, I do."

The first thing he needed as a teacher, Phil decided, was a lesson plan. Math and Science were out of the question, gym was planning his own murder, and Second Language will just result into conflict or Russian curses.

Pepper was rather enthusiastic about the whole thing, which surprised Phil.

"So I was thinking, for History we should- we must stick to before the twentieth century, because of Steve." She taps the pen against her lips. "Wait no, lets just not do anything from the past few centuries, because there's _way _too much war. How about-" she scribbles down something . "Ancient Civilizations."

Phil nods. "Good point. For English, just give them essays after essays. Maybe some debate topics if they get to restless? Nothing sensitive though."

"Like… should starting your day after noon be allowed?"

"Are mugs or cups better?"

"Coffee or tea?...wait no that's just stupid."

"Is there honestly a difference between Pepsi and Coke?"

Pepper does more scribbling. "We will need a book for literature, won't we."

"Let's see…Romeo and Juliet?"

"…"

"Okay bad idea. What's your favourite book, Miss Potts?"

"The Boy in Striped Pyjamas touched my heart.I don't think I have to tell you what an awful idea _that _will be."

"Agreed. The Merchant of Venice? There really isn't a more boring book."

They spend the rest of the day plotting and planning, designing and printing out brochures and timetables. It's oddly relaxing, the work they're putting in for this school.

They hand out the brochures and timetables at dinner later that day and are met with a variety of looks, ranging from excitement (Thor) confusion (Steve) to just plain horror (Clint).

Tony starts to protest but Phil won't stand for it. "There's no choice Tony, the state says you have to attend school and that is that."

"You do realize that we are all well above-"

"You. Must. Attend. School. Everyone of you." It's Pepper, holding a skillet and looking terrifying as she flips another pancake (yes, they had pancakes for dinner. So?)

There are no more protests after that. _Good. _Phil thinks. _Step one, complete. _

"Remember, everyone should be seated at the classroom by 8 tomorrow."

"8 in the morning?" Tony asks.

"What are we supposed to bring?" It's Natasha.

"Can we wear whatever we want?" This time, it's Clint.

Only then does Phil realize the major flaw in his plan.

They had _never _been to school before. Meaning, they didn't know of the norms when it came to schools, not even the most general ones.

It hits him with full force, the realization. The never had a chance to be normal kids. Never.

He settles them down on the table as Pepper places down the stack of dinner pancakes.

"Yes, it's 8 in the morning. Just bring stationary and some notebooks, and a bag to hold it all in. And wear whatever you will usually wear-as long as it's not your pyjamas."

They nod, and resume to their usual dinner activities. Natasha is looking the slightest bit excited.

Plan was working out well so far, it seems.

* * *

JSYK, I have no idea on how the American High School system works. I'm just mashing up whatever I gathered from books and movies together with my own secondary school experiences.

My tumblr:lexie-axe


End file.
